i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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