Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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