He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
