? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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