At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
