You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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