I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize