i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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