Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
