M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
