your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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