To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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