Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
