My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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