90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
