just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
