Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize