I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
