I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have demons in me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
