Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
tell me about the eggs
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
