am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
