I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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