Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
