Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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