Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
