So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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