i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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