what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
