Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
