There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
