It's Friday. Sex?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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