i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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