I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
