dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
