i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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