who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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