I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
