And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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