Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
