I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
