Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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