Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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