Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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