i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
