words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Never underestimate the power of titties
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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