so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
