I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Randomize
