You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
