I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
