I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
