My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
