I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
