is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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