he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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