Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
