i used baking grease as lip gloss
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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