the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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