so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We left an ass print on the piano.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
