There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
