I wish I could punch you in the face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
