is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
