So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
