u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i think i just lost a toe
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
