if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
worst night to have a conscience
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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