I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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