take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Couch. On fire.
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